Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
