Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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