Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
