My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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