just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
