I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
