I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
