we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just found puke in my bra..
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
