yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
