If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
