Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Randomize
