shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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