She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So vagazzling was a success
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
