i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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