you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
