There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
