So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize