yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
