Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
