So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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