operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
