this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
