so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My vagina is very pro this idea
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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