Will you blow on my dice?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
