I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
