from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Holy sore nipples Batman
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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