Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
