u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
