if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
