You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
this hospital has no fireball
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
