Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Drake has all the answers
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize