He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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