I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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