I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
