If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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