I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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