we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
