I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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