I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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