so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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