There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize