i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
