you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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