hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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