You smell like stripper and shame
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
