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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
