Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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