So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
