ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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