I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
