Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My bed smells like the plague
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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