Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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