I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
