Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
