..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
