but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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