I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
