some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
