Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I deserve this hangover.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
