I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
