I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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