You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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