Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
where are my pants?
in the oven.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
