Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
this just has baby written all over it
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
