From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
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