The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
